Lola walked into the crowded and noisy place. Well if she could remember right, she had been told this place was just opened and now it was as filled as one of the local clubs in town. She deliberated going back home but later decided this was a little better than the loneliness she was going to face at home. She managed to find a path amidst the crowd to the bar.
“Good evening miss, what would like to have? ” she heard the bartender say.
“Um….a glass of water” she said and shrugged when the bartender gave her a confused look.
“Just water” she repeated again.
He had spotted her immediately she came in. She had entered looking like a lost soul in the wrong place and that had taken away his attention from his friends. She had stood at the entrance for about five minutes, before he saw her heading to the bar. She was having a slender figure with long straight legs, looking like a goddess in red. A few heads turned her way, as she made her way to the bar. Everything about her was beaconing to him and he knew he couldn’t hesitate any longer….excerpt from my untilted book.
So i finally dropped the excerpt i’ve been talking about all this while and i’ll like you all to comment on what you think about it. Please i wouldn’t entertain any abuse or insult from anyone but like i said in my previous post, constructive criticism would be welcomed as well as any needed correction. I would also like to know your ideas on what this book should be tilted, based on the little you’ve read about it.